| (no subject) |
[Feb. 5th, 2005|06:44 pm] |
this is a picture i took of my kitten, i hope you like it.
hahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhahaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhha. sorry guys, i was just kidding. thats not really a picture, its a drawing. hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. jajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajajjajajajajajajajaajjaajajjaajajajjajajaja(hahaha in spanish) |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 4th, 2004|12:23 pm] |
alright kids. its time for a quiz.
question one:
i am awesome. |
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| "reminds me every time, reminds me all the time." |
[Sep. 15th, 2004|02:52 am] |
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so here's the fucking deal. because i don't want you to quit. just pull your hand and refute anything i've said. because before this happened i was under your spell. you are one to me. and i am over this. so shut the fuck up and let me finish. quit reprising old flames, and reusing old games. just because you are over this... i'm not. over and over again. step lightly, behind my back. crack a smile and wink in any direction. over and out. circle tames this, circle ends here. right where it began. retrace my steps, maybe you'll find inspiration in the same places i did. but i sincerely hope you fuck this up. go through without my approval. go through your wall. break. for it. isn't what. i'm aware. you are not enough. and i don't know what else to say to make you understand what you are doing, and i don't know what to do to help you die. have i ever said that i'm tired of this? have you ever listened? haven't i made it clear that this isn't how this should happen? go away. go away. orange. you used to be my favorite. and now i'm tired of your eyes. so i made it clear to myself that i'm broken. and i made it up for you to fix. self. i won't let it. go. away. granted, this is impatient, persistent, and destructive. so fuck it, i'm trying to break. but i'm stuck. grey. matters. and i'm flattered that you would think so for a couple days or so. and i'm tired of trying. and i'm tired of you just being there enough time to go away. please just go the fuck away, and leave me alone. i saw you last night. hey. i won't. either. golden eyes. here we go again, open. twenty five and dying. hope this isn't your last. i saw your eyes. hope i didn't delay response delay. hope you missed all of this. i hope noone got this far. because i'm fucking tired of being. sorry it got weird. i don't know what happened. wish i wasn't such a dick, so i could fix it. fix this. for me. i need your advice. because i'm tired of making these decisions on my own. here we go, repeat. disregard. distinguish this from any other, i dare you. i'm tired of being different, or the same. i don't know anymore. i'm tired of you. go to sleep now. i'm trying. go to sleep. i'm trying. go to sleep. fuck you, i'm fucking trying. |
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| "saw you last night, stars in your eyes smiled in my room." |
[Aug. 25th, 2004|08:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  morose | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ben folds five | ] |
predictable, ability. predictability. count them out... down... and out. count them down and out. this is me counting them down, two of them are eyes. for four or more of these is completely or utterly or instantly dead. to me. this is me counting it out, counting me out. because i'm tired, and i'm torn, and i'm over this. because you never know... because you never fucking know. and all i can think to say now is to just fucking climb off, because i'm tired of you repeating my mistakes. rhetoric. tick tick tick...
and i'm done. it's over. read between the lines, its takes all types. and all i can do is refuse one or more, or every one that seems even remotely acceptable. so forget i forgot you. and it will all feel better. because i'm due.
at least somebody thinks so... |
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| "eating snowflakes with plastic forks and a paper plate, of course. you think of everything." |
[Aug. 5th, 2004|07:00 pm] |
this is me. flipping through, adjusting, reading page after page after page of memories. left me breathless. i forgot that you cared, and that for a moment i was everything to you. mistakes and all, looking back it didn't really matter.
spy, left me a present. vs.
not quite what i expected though.
able to take this with a grain of saltiness that is by far worse than any event i've ever passed. with or without this i won't be bothered by you again, and i'm troubled by the things that lead you/us here, and i am left wondering why and how and who it was that was able to break this bond and forget everything that didn't happen so easily. so don't worry about this, because i know you have moved on. and that is better for both, and that is easier than what i would have had happen. so i'm left staring at this pill and wondering why i haven't taken it, and if it even matters.
these holes in my mouth are aching. same as before. these wholes.
wholly unacceptable. |
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| "and i hope you never let this go." |
[Jul. 5th, 2004|05:53 pm] |
last night. it was. and thats all. good and bad. i'm missing this. you. guess what. i'm tired. of you not being here. and somehow i wish that they were right, and i was gonna figure this out, and it would all add up, and it wouldn't be so fucking hard. but here, figure this out, i'm happy. maybe because i just reverted back to myself. you know what that means. don't expect a call, while i'm walking down the street. though you probably should. because right now i need that call. and i need to take that walk.
did you miss me? cry? i'm confused, because if that is what i'm supposed to be, i'm tired. of it.
did you miss me? fuck. this. i've grown tired of this, feeling stagnant. time to move on. now if i could just... i want... i'm looking. and its nowhere to be found. remember how soft?
those.
i'll pass. mainly because i'm tired of waiting. |
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| "nothing hurts when i go to sleep." |
[Jun. 21st, 2004|10:52 am] |
right... um... ok. here we go. this one time... no, wait. many years ago... no, nevermind.
there was this girl, this one time. and she talked to me. and we were friends. or something. and now look what happened.
it was all a dream. or at least thats what started this all. and it was you, who needed to do this to prove you've come all this way. take that last one a step at a time and it might make more sense. so speaking of... oh damn. where do i even go from here.
"but i'm not tired."
here we go. you and i are like an easy escape. the thought of you, the anxious waiting, the occupation of my mind. this is what i was waiting for. you might not realize it but i'm not in it for what you think. its really just that feeling in my stomach. the same one i haven't felt in years. that is what its about. make me nervous. |
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| "don't change your plans for me." |
[Jun. 14th, 2004|07:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
i'm at a loss. i'm lost. and maybe i'm free. and maybe i stepped on your toes just one time too many. or maybe i'm free. now i'm in for it.
i brought this on myself. i'm bored with it. you. i'm done. so take me, take this, take us, and put it all away. save it for later.
"i'm just a box, just a box in a cage."
fine. i'll give in, i'll bite. why? nevermind, i don't care to know.
this was a complete waste of time. |
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| "And if it takes shit to make bliss, well I feel pretty blissfully." |
[May. 15th, 2004|02:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
blame it on this is the first time is done. focus. make us. forcast, broken.
so i'm sitting here one thousand miles away. reusing, remaking, refusing anything to say to me. because i don't mind being broken for the time being. i just need someone there to be broken with me. and i'm tired of driving the point in with a dagger. and i'm tired of driving all night long just for a breath of fresh air.
"If life's not beautiful without the pain, well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again."
ten to one.
this ratio is killing me. so hurry up and get over it, and get over here, and go fuck yourself. because i'm tired of any and every single thing you placed me here with. i'm leaving, i'm alone. and i'm leaving this place without a second glance. because you don't understand me. because if you did, you would have done things so differently. bring and raise hypocrites to do your bidding, and make them assholes, and make them thieves, and make them crazy enough to seem believable. because your name is being dragged in the mud if you haven't seen. go back a few thousand years, see what you did. its ok, they weren't the chosen ones. they were nobody important. a slaughter is just a slaughter. especially if its in your name. remember history repeats itself. and you seem to be stuck on the worst part.
i'm looking for something, and i'm not sure. so pick this apart. please. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 14th, 2004|12:41 pm] |
"We have many things planned like very, very intensive morphball puzzles and we're also bringing abilities like the Screw Attack into the game, as well as many new features including two new visors."
"The footage showcased a detailed adult Link as he rode his horse across an expansive Hyrule, did battle with a number of different enemy types including a Moblin, Bokoblins and multiple Lizalfos. In one stunning scene, the sun set as dark riders advanced over the horizon."
"The Nintendo DS system is, in its current form, about the size of two Game Boy Advance SP systems placed side by side. It's approximately as wide as the original Game Boy Advance system, and designed in clamshell fashion exactly as the Game Boy Advance SP is. Each half of the clamshell contains two brightly lit LCD screens fixed in the center. The controls are located on the lower portion of the system, with the eight-way D-pad positioned on the left of the lower screen, and the A, B, X, and Y buttons laid out identically to the Super NES controls on the right of the lower screen. The system's microphone, for built-in voice recognition in certain games, is currently located on the front edge, directly below the D-pad. The unit's L and R buttons are circular and in similar location to where they're positioned on the Game Boy Advance."
ok, i am now organizing a group to go to E3 next year. jay, i know you want to do this with me. we have to go. |
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| "you wasted life, why wouldn't you waste the afterlife?" |
[May. 13th, 2004|11:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | modest mouse | ] |
one, two, three... and next. pass it on, go ahead.
once i tried, and i saw, and i was everything to everyone but you. and you tried to break it to me easily. and you failed miserably. and i can't thank you enough for that, because that pain, which has long been gone, is still controlling my life. you may know who i'm talking about, or to, or with, and i'm sure it doesn't matter. keep moving.
so i'm telling you about what he said, and what he meant. and reply replied. pass it on. i hope this doesn't hurt as bad as i think it will. because i know who you have eyes for. keep it clean.
thank you for the comfort. thank you for your friendship, and thank you for listening. oh, and thanks for being my twin.
you are eye and i don't care to bother with any of this. once i played a fool. i don't mind saying so because i know that no one is reading this. just keep moving on. |
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| "same as it ever was." |
[May. 2nd, 2004|06:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  restless | ] |
without you around... here goes. i'm trying to make this clear enough for me to see. all this is... all this is is just another time on the list. and i'm writing, and passing, and forgetting and remembering everything you said. i can think of this one time that took all night just to let you go. only to wake in the morning to find out you would never be there again. luckily i left. the break was needed, and appreciated, and i can't help but wonder. why? why did any of that happen the way it did. ah, fuck me.
would you mind if i told you that i thought about you a lot? in and out of my head. correct me if i'm wrong but that means something. quoting, thats what i'm thinking right now. and i just can't put my finger on it, but somehow you are right. and i want to tell you about all of the times i've thought about just that, and how i've come to certain conclusions about who and where and when and why. and that it seems simple enough. it goes back to my parents, right? and this inherent jealousy just fuels this desire.
so, weekend comes and goes, and i'm left alone. waiting to come back.
i wish this was somehow easier... |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 26th, 2004|01:19 pm] |
"I hold a tiny rave in my heart each time I score critical damage, and that's about it."
and thats all i have to say. |
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| "baby cum angels fly around you. reminding you we used to be three and not just two." |
[Apr. 24th, 2004|11:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  awake | ] |
moving on... moving on... here we go. seems like weeks ago. those were words, were words for me to hear. and its a smile, and a shrug, and a sideways glance. its bracing myself, falling again. its what i do. you know. its what i do. and i don't think it could have been put better. a simple enough question, a simple enough answer. and i can't help but feel, and think, and see that its right, not somehow, not a little, but completely.
here, give me a real... give me a real... no. give me a real...
falling through the cracks. thank you. thank you. this is meant as a thank you. for everyday that i see you. for every time that i catch you sleeping. for matching tattoos. and for anything and everything. for being there and here. and following me and taking me home. for breaking even, and breaking up, and somehow forgiving. for letting me cry on your shoulder, for always being there when i'm wandering around, walking around. just walking around. thank you both.
and this is what i meant from before. you see, its the smile that got me last night. and its the shrug that got me today.
me: whats my reputation?
kjam: you like girls.
well, when you're right, you're right. |
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| "its the fashion self informed versus mr. navy blue and black." |
[Apr. 17th, 2004|06:29 pm] |
if i did... would you mind? would you hold me? would you care? yes, i know. i know the answers. to something, someone it holds this in me. fortune, fortunate, for me. for this seems to be the only way to go. so, i try, and i try, and i let you go. let you into the back of my mind, where you sit in my thoughts all day and all night. and its not like you weren't there before, and its not like you ever went away. but i still remember those words. and now you're sitting in my car, whisper this in my ear. fortune, fortunate, for me.
have you ever... and i'm trying... don't worry... and i'm sorry.
so here, this is it. its not betrayed or betrayal. its denied. and forgotten. pass it aside. i just don't care enough anymore.
and i'm sorry i lied. you know its true. you can see through what i say. and maybe thats what i see in you. |
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| "four twenty four" |
[Apr. 12th, 2004|03:41 pm] |
disadvantage is disadvantage this advantage is my only way to know. so... somehow you're right, somehow you're right, somehow you're right, somehow you're right. too bad you will never see this. too bad you will never see me again. until next year... we will see when that comes.
and here is what is killing me. not a mention worthy of a word, so fragile so i try. breaking up over this just isn't worth it. so i make sure to dwell, tell me this isn't what you wanted. tell me this isn't what you want. and i'll just walk away now. because that is so much easier.
i realize(d) that is all me. all me to myself. and i don't mind. its what i do. and you know. how? right, i know. misplaced.
so this is what i said. "no, i care more. at least thats how i see it." do me a favor, don't read this and think its about you. because... well. its not.
ah fuck. here we go again. |
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| "and i do like you, you're the lucky one. no i'm the lucky one." |
[Mar. 22nd, 2004|08:33 pm] |
and this is the problem, ringing in one ear. out the other. oh, no. not again, i can. hear me. know this, though once again. if you want to... if you want to... watch me...
the day before nothing ever happens is this ever going to be the same way i did. so, this is a reproduction of everything ever before.
forget. me. this. ok, i give up. you win |
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| "and i don't understand why on this night, of all nights..." |
[Mar. 1st, 2004|07:14 pm] |
before you fall asleep at night, i wonder; whats on your mind? do you know, do you understand whats on the line? and thats right, thats why. thats enough of this, because i'm tired of your bullshit, because i'm tired of your reply. with or without you i'm leaving this, so mark me off your list, mark me off your credits, your thank yous, your everything.
don't fucking criticize me, just grow up. and then maybe you'll see why no one minds leaving you alone. go ahead drown your sorrows, god knows you've tried.
"you're here, i'm gone. a perfect slow song as long as a noon day drive." |
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kawuro's journal
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